Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
