marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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