maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
