I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
