I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The uberlube is also flammable
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
