I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
