goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Rumble strips road head = magical
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
