I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
