I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
