Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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