I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
