I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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