i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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