Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
