Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
