ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
