we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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