'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize