you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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