we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
