I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize