You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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