Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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