that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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