jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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