Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
