So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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