Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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