YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
