he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
