So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
