the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize