yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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