I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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