Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
