There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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