Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
