she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My vagina is very pro this idea
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
