Dual....:-)
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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