"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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