There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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