You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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