Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
