A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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