don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
this will be a night to untag.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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