Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
