very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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