Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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