there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
