it was like his penis was on wheels.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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