Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
