She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
