There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
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he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
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"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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