I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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