i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize