I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
