if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
no, he came in my armpit
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
