yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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