the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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