Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
