I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize