In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
