her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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