i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
