dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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