Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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