dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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